


Dick Measuring Competion

by Unne



Series: Stetopher week 2018 [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Pack Nights, Stetopher Week 2018, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 08:12:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16425698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unne/pseuds/Unne
Summary: Whose dick is bigger? That's the question.





	Dick Measuring Competion

**Author's Note:**

> Stetopher week 2018 - Day 4 - Complete one-shot
> 
> Thanks to my beta Muykke, both for the beta-reading and inspiration.

The night is young and everyone is drunk. It appears that the most annoying drawback of being a werewolf - inability to be affected by alcohol - can be easily got round if you add a little wolfsbane in your booze. The humble keeper of this wisdom - aka Peter Hale - probably awaited prolonged glorification from his grateful pack-members, but got only reproaches for not sharing it earlier. Ingrate bastards.  
So Peter stayed for the party to witness the various states of degradation the young werewolves can achieve when they finally get their hands on illegal substances.  
For the same reason - teens and illegal substances - Christopher Argent joined them on this happy occasion. Unable to dissuade his own daughter from taking part in the planned debauch ('I'm 18, Dad, for God's sake') Chris decided that he should at least be able to observe it and prevent any accidents that are bound to happen. So now he is sipping his booze in the far corner of Derek's loft and throws warily side glances at Peter every other minute.  
To be honest, Peter doesn't mind to be observed by Chris. He even tries flexing a bit to show off his impressive body and licks his lips slowly when he manages to catch the hunter's eye. They've been angrily flirting for some time now and Peter has been rather curious where it could lead. Distracted by his pleasant thoughts he almost misses Stiles' words addressed to him.

"Hey, Peter", this little shit babbles drunkenly, "Seen your car on the way here. It takes half of a freaking parking lot, dude. Why, are you compensating for something?"

"Really, Stiles?", Peter tries to smirk and roll his eyes simultaneously, but it doesn't go very well. It stops him however from expressing his surprise over it being Stiles of all others who doubt the size of his manhood. As recently as yesterday the teen was delighted to ride this very manhood without uttering a complaint against its' size. Before Peter had time to explain it all to the present (and now very interested) company, Stiles proceeds:

"But you know what? Your car wasn't even the biggest in the parking lot! Guess whose is? A certain SUV belonging to Mr. Argent over there", Stiles giggles and points his finger towards stone-faced Argent. 

"Oh shut up, Stiles!!!" Allison screams in utter disgust. "Come on, Lydia, let's get some air, if the boys want to start a dick measuring competition, I'm sure as fuck don't want to witness it. Erica, are you coming with us?"

"No way in hell", Erica replies with an unhealthy glint in her eyes.

"Ahem-ahem", Peter clears his throat pointedly. "I don't know about Argent - though I am pretty sure that his hazardous lifestyle could have lead to some tragic injury in the subject area - but for myself I can assure you, I am more than endowed by nature"

"Excuse you", Argent finally finds his words." I can assure you that my subject area is as intact and impressive as one can wish for. Not so sure about yours though, Hale. You behave like a man with a very small dick."

"Is it so, Argent?" Peter almost hisses and jumps up to his feet. "Then pray tell me that all the long-barreled guns in your storage are not some kind of compensation you wish for?"

"Looks like I owe you an apology, Hale. It was very cruel and unthoughtful of me to show off my long-barreled guns in front of you. Must remind you of something you are deprived of", Chris stands up as well and now they are suddenly very close to each other, almost face to face, pupils wide, breathing heavily, fists clenched. Ready to jump at each other any minute now.

Meanwhile, the pack goes wild around them. 'Team Chris' and 'Team Peter' are formed. Bets are made. Erica is dancing with a pom pom (She is in 'Team Peter'). No one knows where the fuck she found it in the loft, only Stiles blushes a little, because he forgot it under the couch last week after a very successful lap dance he performed for Peter wearing only a short skirt and a crop top. Derek almost knocks himself out with facepalms and withdraws sulkily to his room upstairs. Scott is confused and tries to calm everyone down. Stiles is making a fucking poster 'Whose is bigger' and secretly shows Peter thumbs up when nobody is looking, obviously knowing whose is bigger. Wait a moment. How does he know?!?!? And he shows Chris thumbs up too when he thinks Peter isn't watching. What the hell?!?! The little shit sleeps with Argent too? Peter is gonna kill him. No, Peter is gonna make them fuck so that he could watch and then he will kill them both. Fuck, the very thought makes him hard as a rock. Time to finish this ridiculous argument once and for all.

"To hell with that. Here is my evidence", and Peter unzips his jeans and pulls them with his underwear down to his knees. His dick, long and proud, is fully erect and points straightly to Argent.

"Arghghg", the pack screams in unison and everyone flees away, pushing each other at the door. Erica tries to stay and catch it all on the video, but Stiles gesticulates furiously, pantomiming what exactly he will do to her if she spoils the moment. Erica finally takes the hint and reluctantly leaves the room. (Not without taking a zoomed in picture of Peter's dick)  
  
Soon there are only Peter and Chris in the loft. The silence is overwhelming. Peter's dick is still eloquently pointing at Argent.

"So", Chris purrs and fetches out a reel. 

"Do you always have a reel with you?", Peter breathes out through his clenched teeth, because Argent takes his dick gently in his hand and actually starts measuring it.

"I do", Chris answers earnestly. "Just in case you would pull your dick out. Longer than mine, yes", he adds throwing the reel away and starts stroking the dick softly. Peter smirks smugly as he usually does and half-closes his eyes in pleasure. "But mine is thicker. Wanna try it?"  
  
In about 2 hours, after both dicks were tried and approved, Stiles crawls back into the room and squeezes his way between the two of them.  
  
"You did it on purpose, didn't you?", Peter asks sleepily as he wraps his arms around the boy.

"Yep", Stiles mumbles into Chris' chest.

"You have no shame, kid", Argent smiles.

"Nope", Stiles agrees and falls asleep.  
  
So much for looking after teenagers.


End file.
